60 quotes overheard on Wall Street
The most accurate statements, overheard in the elevator of the most famous investment bank, from people who own almost all the money in the world
There is a person on Wall Street who, working at one of the largest and most reputable investment banks in the world, Goldman Sachs, maintains a twitter account where he collects quotes that are eavesdropped on the elevators of Wall Street offices. Although they are sometimes arrogant and funny, they reveal the truth of life.
So, here are the 60 most accurate statements of people who own almost all the money in the world:
1. Teach a person to fish, and he will again vote for the one who promises to give him this fish.
2. If I get fired, it will be a good test of my wife’s loyalty, but if I get promoted, then by checking me.
3. If you have a good metabolism, your head is full of hair and good work, do not get married young, Wait 10 years and make a choice.
4. Statistically, you don’t need to worry about what your first wife’s mom looks like.
5. I would agree with you, but then we will both be wrong.
6. Each telephone conversation I start with the words: “My phone is almost dead and can turn off, so come on quickly.”
7. The neighbor’s grass is greener because it is fertilized with shit.
8. Music was better at a time when ugly people were allowed to sing.
9. A new sign of steepness is to meet friends and never look into the phone.
10. The fact that there are ugly prostitutes exhaustively shows the essence of men and the free market.
11. Most celebrities do not even have a university education – so why the hell do they consult with them on any serious matter?
12. Only a Neanderthal descends to physical abuse. I prefer to humiliate morally, break the spirit and deprive of hope.
13. One of my favorite things is when someone places their selfies and nobody likes them.
14. When I hear “Is there a minute?” – I understand that now I’ll lose half an hour, which I can never return.
15. The hearing of the interlocutor half consists of waiting for his turn to say, and half of the reminders to himself to change the expression every 10 seconds.
16. Be yourself – great advice for about 5% of people.
17. This tattoo is not mine – I do not hang bumper stickers on my Lamborghini.
18. Soon you will realize that silence is the best way to send to dick.
19. When you poison your stories – I think only how much shorter they could be.
20. When they say to me, “We need to meet somehow,” I reply, “Of course, I’ll call you.” This is a lie in response to a lie.
21. Poor people eat so much fast food that their time seems to be worth crazy money.
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22. I just want to be rich enough not to be obsessed with money.
23. 98% of people who comment on Mandela’s death online will not be able to answer the simplest questions about his life.
24. One friend asked me what I would do if I had 10 million bucks. I answered her: “I’ll ask where all my other grandmothers are.”
25. I do not need a cover for iPhone – am I irresponsible or a beggar?
26. Before people can express their opinion on Syria, they must first show it on the map.
27. What a pity that dullness does not hurt its wearer.
28. Flowers and apologies are many times easier than changing something in yourself.
29. Climbing to the top of the food chain, we were not vegetarians.
30. Most people, even in a film about their lives, would play a supporting role.
31. – You are not on social networks? How will your classmates find you? – Let them type my name in Google.
32. If you can be good at one thing, be good at lying. Then you will be good at everything.
33. Kids need to learn a lesson – Santa loves rich children more.
34. “He is not a bad guy, if you know him better” – this is an excellent definition of an asshole.
35. Why should I get married – it’s because, count, bet on half of your fortune, that you will love her forever.
36. If compiling an opinion about a person at first glance was an Olympic sport, I would be suspected of taking doping.
37. No girl is actually as happy as she seems on Facebook, as sexy as she seems on Instagram and so witty as she seems on Twitter.
38. As a society, we are smarter than ever, just technology has given the right to vote to an unintelligent mass.
39. There were times when the unwanted were exiled to the islands. Now you have to buy an island to be away from them.
40. Haircut is a good economic indicator. In bad times, people go for a haircut once every 8 weeks, and in good times every 6 weeks. I go every 3 weeks.
41. It is necessary to make sure that the “Reply to all” function in the mail needs to be earned.
42. The most successful and most unsuccessful people have one thing in common – they think that they are never mistaken.
43. When asked how I am doing, I usually lie, which is good, although in fact it is many times better.
44. Obesity and hunger are two of the biggest problems in society. This explains the human nature.